Just To Be Loved
by lover1492
Summary: Ichigo is in love with Urahara, but Urahara is in love with Ichigo’s father, but Ichigo doesnt know yet. Rukia is in love with both Ichigo and Renji, and Renji is in love with Rukia. But something big will happen that will give Rukia the chance to choose.
1. Broken

**Please read and review**

**Summary: Ichigo is in love with Urahara, but Urahara is in love with Ichigo's father. Rukia is in love with both Ichigo and Renji, and Renji is in love with Rukia. But something big will happen that will give Rukia the chance to choose.**

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Ichigo ran to Urahara's Shoten ready for more practice. He had been alternating practices for weeks now between Urahara and the Vizards, but he was always happier training with Urahara. Ichigo had finally learned how to suppress his enormous reitsu, and he was dancing on daisies happy that Urahara had been the one to teach him. Yes, you could say he was in love with Urahara. It took him a while to admit it, however, when he did he felt so much happier.

He had finally made up his mind to tell Urahara today, and had hardened his resolve. He was ready!

As he ran into the shop, he noticed that Urahara wasn't in the front, so he went to the back, to search the different rooms. He was about to give up and go to the basement, when he saw a door that was ajar. He walked to it smiling and readying himself to surprise Urahara, when he heard a familiar voice coming from the room that shouldn't even be in this place. He stopped short of the door, and looked inside confirming that indeed it was his father, Kurosaki Isshin. He was about to burst through the door when Urahara's words stopped Ichigo.

"Will you-will you ever love me?" Ichigo stood frozen. He had never heard such a sorrowful voice from Urahara.

"I'm sorry, Urahara, you already know that I still love Masaki. I can't use you as a rebound." His father sounded just as sad as Urahara's.

"Please, I don't care. I just need you by my side." Ichigo couldn't take anymore. He slowly backed out of the Shoten, thanking the gods that he had been able to keep a cap on his reitsu even through that kind of shock, and ran back to his house. He didn't notice Rukia watching him leave. When he entered his room he sat on the bed and stared at the wall. He wanted to cry, but held it in. He didn't cry when he was slashed up by Kenpachi, and he isn't going to cry now; even if the pain was 10x worse.

Ichigo didn't go down for lunch, or dinner. He told Yuzu that he was just really sleepy, and hadn't gotten much sleep from studying exams which wasn't entirely false. He continued to stare at the wall before falling asleep, dreaming of Urahara.

***

Ichigo woke up the next morning and got ready for school. He had decided to ignore the pain. He was Kurosaki Ichigo. He didn't have time to deal with the pain. He went to school as normal as he could muster up, and completed the day with his normal detached attitude. Ichigo could tell that his friends knew something was wrong, but was happy when none of them said anything. He walked home in his normal demeanor, finished his homework, and went over to Urahara's like normal.

He had spent a lot of time debating on how to approach Urahara after seeing _that_, so he figured he should just go to him as usual. He went straight to the basement this time, and didn't bother looking for Urahara. He just started practicing his swing while waiting. Ichigo felt Urahara's presence (not reitsu) before he saw him, and quickly swung his sword to deflect the attack that would have ended his life had he not been paying attention.

"Well well well. It would seem you have gotten much stronger Ichigo." Ichigo just stared at Urahara before batting the man away with his sword.

"Yes, I have. Shall we begin?" Ichigo masked his expression with a solid face that would have made Byakuya proud.

"Yes we shall." Ichigo readied himself, but was stopped by Urahara. "But… Today we're not using swords. Today, I'm going to help sharpen your hand to hand combat skills." Ichigo gave Urahara a weird look as he watched him lay his sword to the side before shoving Zangetsu into the floor. With no verbal agreement, they began. Their arms and legs created a dance that Ichigo had never realized he could do until now. They both moved so gracefully together blocking and dodging each other's moves.

After an hour of fighting like this, their dance became less of a dance, and more of a ravenous hunger to end each other. They probably would have had it not be for the interference of Tessai saying that it was time for dinner. They ended the fight, and slowly walked to their swords and sheathed them before climbing back into the Shoten.

Ichigo was the first to speak. "That was refreshing." He turned around to see that Urahara's hat was covering his eyes.

"Why yes, Ichigo, it was." They went to the bathrooms to clean some of the dirt off of their face and hands before returning to the dining room where the food had already been placed on the table. Ichigo didn't want to eat, so he said his goodbyes, and left. He was tired, and just wanted to relax. Fighting with Urahara had relaxed him a little, but now that he was away from Ichigo the Earth-shattering pain in his chest had returned. He walked home beaten and worn, once again not noticing Rukia watching him leave.

***

Rukia jumped through Ichigo's window right onto Ichigo's stomach; successfully waking Ichigo up. She had come to help relieve some of his stress, and she wouldn't leave until Ichigo had relaxed a little. She had known that Ichigo was in love with Urahara, and was jealous for the most part, however her jealousy had turned into anger when she had overheard Urahara and Isshin's conversation.

She knew that Urahara knew about Ichigo's crush on him, and also knew that Urahara had purposefully chosen that time to invite Isshin over to his house. She understood that he was just trying to let Ichigo know that he couldn't be with him, but she felt that the way he went about it was too cruel. That is not something Ichigo could overcome quickly, and with Ichigo's state of mind, he definitely wouldn't recover well from a blow like that.

Rukia watched Ichigo stand up and stretch in only pajama pants before she spoke. "It's alright to cry Ichigo." He turned around, and she could see the inner conflict going through his head, and held out her arms to him. She could see the debate of whether to go to her playing over in his head, and decided to take matters into her own hands.

She pulled him down so that she was laying under him with him lying in-between her legs. She petted his hear, and hummed to him. She felt him relax, and then shift so that he was on his hands and knees above her, before he bent down to kiss her. She was caught off guard with her mouth open, and felt Ichigo's tongue enter her mouth. The kiss was gentle with Ichigo coaxing her mouth open wider, but Rukia could tell that he was inexperienced. After years of having sex with Renji, Rukia could tell the difference.

Thoughts of her on-again off-again boyfriend made her turn her head to the side to break the kiss. When she felt Ichigo's lips trail kisses down Rukia's throat, she tried with her last bit of will to stop him. "We can't, Ichigo."

The lips stopped before she felt his mouth shift to her ear and a word was whispered into her ear that melted her like ice cream on a hot day. "Please." The sorrow in his voice made it impossible to resist, and she gave in when his lips came back to hers. Silent, pleading, pooling eyes stared into hers before they turned lustful. Clothes were shed along with the feelings of hurt, and they both drowned themselves in each other to ignore their own pain. Rukia's pain of being split between two men, and Ichigo's pain of unrequited love.

Rukia felt Ichigo's lips trail down from her neck to her nipples, and her back arched as he suckled on them. The pleasure was so intense, as she felt a finger slide in and out of her. She could feel herself getting wetter for him. The mouth left her breast along with the finger that was replaced with Ichigo's length. It pushed in slowly, and Rukia enjoyed the feeling. He was just as long as Renji, but he was thicker. It felt so good to squeeze around him that she moaned loudly. Ichigo seemed to like the sound, because he started to move, maintaining a medium-slow pace. Rukia felt so good, until she felt something wet hitting her skin. At first she thought it was Ichigo's sweat, but when she looked up, she saw his tear streaked face. She was caught off guard when he started thrusting harder, and was surprised when her orgasm ripped through her, causing her to lose her train of thought.

She felt him pull out, before a warm, white substance was squirted onto her stomach. She closed her eyes when he kissed her cheek before she felt him shift so that he was lying next to her. She watched as he drifted off to sleep before letting silent tears run down her cheeks. She cried silently for Ichigo, because she had never had as bitter sex as she just did.

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**Hello everyone. I hope you all enjoyed chapter one. I'll try to make things more detailed, but if things dont fit, i'll just make an interlude to explain things. In case you haven noticed, this is not an AU fic. Rukia and Renji are not going out at the time. They are and will be on and off throughout the whole story. I need to know whether you all think Ichigo should be Uke or Seme for this fic. Chow chow for now!**


	2. Sex Buddies

**It's been a while since I've updated this, so it's about time. I am working on the next chap for Scratch and im also working on 2 new stories. one is a one shot called "Happy Holloween" the description is on my page; and the second one is called Saint Joseph High. **

**The story is about how Ichigo's father signs him up to go to Saint Joseph High School, and it turns out to be a rich school in the middle of Osaka, Japan. The school is not run by faculty, but rather the light and dark lords which could also be called the student counsils. the light lords are called the shinigami and made up of 13 people who call themselves the Gotei 13. They are strict on rules, and are made up of the richest families of the school. The dark lords are made up of 10 people who are called the Espada. These are the punishment crew. They insure that bigger offenses to school rules. The school rules were made up by both the dark and light lords, and are backed by two men with high social status. Aizen Sousuke is the leader of the dark lords, and is known as the king of underworld deals. The 10 espada are the 10 heirs of Aizen Sousuke. Yamamoto Genryusai is the leader of the light lords, and is the owner of a large chain of lavish restaurants and hotels.**

**When Ichigo arrives he doesn't know what to do, and settles for ignoring both sides, and it works for a while until a certain blue-haired hunk from the Espada spots him. This story will have a lot of lemony goodness in it so be prepared. Read and Review please**

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Ichigo's eyes cracked open and he cringed at the site of Rukia in his bed. He had dreamed about them having sex, and had woken in a cold sweat over it. He knew he shouldn't have done that, but he needed someone by his side at the time and Rukia was there and willing.

_Aw shit. How did things get so screwed up?_

He knew the answer to that question; he just didn't want to think about the answer. He looked down at the sleeping face of his best friend, and couldn't help but smile as he saw the drool run down her cheek. She really was cute when she wasn't awake.

He watched as raven eyelashes cracked open to reveal violet irises that were still covered in a haze of sleep.

"Ohayo."

"Ohayo. Did you just wake up?"

"Yeah. Listen, Rukia, we need to talk. I don't want you t-" Rukia cut him off with a finger to his lips.

"You don't have to say it. I know. Let's just keep things like this. We can become um…um…what's the word I'm looking for…sex buddies."

"Sex buddies…hm. Ok, but no one can know about this. I don't want everyone all in my pubic hair."

A rumble of laughter exploded between them, before they both got up and put the clothes on. Rukia then half walked half limped to the window. Before she climbed completely out of the window, she turned and gave Ichigo a bright smile and then left

_Hm? Sex buddies. I wonder how this will turn out._

Later that day…

"Yo Ichigo!"

"Ah, hey Renji!"

"How have you been? You seem a little upset today."

Ichigo looked at Renji, and when he noticed that Renji was looking intently at him, he turned his head away. "I'm fine. Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

"Hm. Something seems different about you besides the fact that you seem upset. Hm. Did someone pop your strawberry?" Renji's laugh made Ichigo blush. He looked back up when Renji suddenly stopped laughing.

"Seriously?"

Ichigo blushed harder before nodding.

"With who?

Ichigo looked Renji in the eye. "I can't tell you."

"And why the hell not?"

"'Cause we fucking agreed not to tell anyone!"

"Who gives a shit about that? Now, who was it?""

"She-She made me promise not to say anything."

"She?" Renji looked at Ichigo like she was crazy.

"Yes, she. I lost my fucking virginity to a girl!" Ichigo sat down on the porch step and put his head in his hands.

"You're just NOW getting it?"

"Yeah. I was crying about Urahara-san and before I knew it we were doing it. I shouldn't have done it, but she followed me into my room, and I wasn't thinking straight, so I just…I just did it. I'm so screwed up." Ichigo couldn't stop the tears that began to flow freely.

"Woah! Wait, what happened between you and Urahara?" Ichigo looked up, and debated whether to tell Renji before finally deciding.

"You know how I was supposed to go to his shoten for training, right?" Ichigo waited for Renji to nod his head before continuing on. "Well when I got there him and my father were talking, and Urahara basically just begged my father to go out with him." Ichigo put his head back in his hands so as to try to stop the crying, but it didn't work. "I didn't even know they knew each other." Ichigo tried once again to slow his breathing, finally succeeding with much effort. "What's worse-What's worse is he knew I was coming." The tears began to pour again, and before Ichigo knew what was happening he was in Renji's arms.

"It's alright Ichigo. He could have been playing or something. You don't know for sure. Just calm down and try to think rationally."

"HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO CALM DOWN!? I just saw the guy I'm in love with fucking confess to my idiot father and to top it all off I gave my fucking virginity to a girl I don't even like in that way. So, you tell me, Renji. How the hell am I supposed to calm down?"

"I-I don't know, but yelling and screaming isn't going to change anything," Renji says trying to calm his own frustration. He then sits down and tries to find the best way to tell Ichigo what he needs to do. "Listen, Ichigo. I may not know much about this whole…whatever you want to call it, but I do know that if Urahara is doing stuff like this, then it is obviously time to let go. You can't keep fawning over him, especially after finding out that he's in love with your dad."

"I know, Renji, but I love him. How the hell am I supposed to face him now?"

"You'll have to face him how you normally face him. Grab your balls and get through your daily routine. Don't fawn over his every move."

"I don't-"

"Yes you do, and you can't deny it. You're practically like a school girl staring at the hottest hunk in school. Also, don't spend any unnecessary time with him. That'll give him a chance to question you, because you know how Urahara is. And last, but not least, do not cry anywhere near The Shoten. Tessai-san is very nosy, and you wouldn't want him asking questions."

Ichigo's eye twitched at the thought of the tall man. There is no way in hell he will leave himself open for that. The man is already creepy enough. Ichigo stood up to walk into his house. "Thanks Renji. I'll be sure to use your advice. I gotta go. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Alright. See ya, Ichigo."

Ichigo proceeded to walk into the house and up to his room where he was met with the site of Rukia laying asleep on his bed with her spaghetti straps hanging over her shoulders, and her blouse riding up showing off her smooth belly. Ichigo, being the normal hormonal teenager he is, felt himself harden at the site, but thoughts of the night before was like ice water being thrown on his friend. He shouldn't do anything with Rukia anymore. It was wrong. He was in love with someone already. He shouldn't have Rukia on the rebound. Yeah, they had agreed on being sex buddies, but would that really be ok? What if someone found out and told Urahara. Ichigo cringed at the thought. _He probably wouldn't even care._ Ichigo continued to ponder things resulting in a migraine slowly forming. In order to stop it before it got any worse he walked to his bed.

Ichigo sat on the edge of the bed before running his finger up and down the exposed flesh of her stomach. He tried to keep his touch light so as not to wake her, but being trained as a shinigami, Rukia couldn't help but wake up. Ichigo looked down into violet eyes before they began to get closer and closer before he felt a pair of soft lips press lightly on his own a few times before the kiss deepened. Before they even knew it they were panting, and had to pull away to get some air.

Clothes were quickly shed, and Ichigo got up to lock the door before reaching under his bed to pull out the shoebox of condoms his father had bought him on his twelfth birthday. After pulling out a condom, he quickly placed the box back under the bed before crawling onto the bed.

Ichigo gave Rukia a quick kiss before kissing his way down to her breast. He was glad that her breasts were a little small that way he could imagine himself doing Urahara. He knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help himself.

After giving both of the breasts attention, he turned Rukia around and told her to get on her hands and knees. He laid down so his mouth was directly under her dripping orfice before grabbing her hips and pressing them down so that her pussy was in his mouth. He licked and suck although wishing this wasn't a girl he was licking and suckling. He could see Rukia trying to keep herself upright as he licked around her clit, so he stuck to fingers in her just to torture her. He heard the moan that the action bought, and couldn't help but wish that the moan was much more masculine.

As he felt Rukia getting closer, he began thrusting his fingers in Rukia trying to make her come, to which she did a moment later; her juices coating the inside of Ichigo's mouth. He didn't think it was too bad, but he wouldn't want to swallow it every night. He picked up the condom that had been lying next to Rukia this whole time. He took it out and put it on before placing his throbbing member to Rukia's dripping pussy.

Ichigo moaned as he pressed in slowly. He both loved and hated the feeling, but quickly pushed that feeling as he started to slowly thrust into Rukia. His tempo gradually increased, and before he knew it, they were both nearing their climax. Ichigo reached his hand between Rukia and the sheets, and played with her clit. It didn't take any more than 20 seconds for her to cum with Ichigo cumming not long afterward.

Ichigo pulled out and removed the condom. He tied it up and put it in a tissue before throwing it in the trash. He then pulled the covers from underneath them, and draped them over their slowly cooling bodies. Ichigo turned towards the window, and looked out at the moon. It sure was bright. He looked at Rukia to see that she was sleeping soundly on her side of the bed. He turned back to the window, and slowly drifted off to sleep.

***

Renji looked up at the moon from his place on the bench.

_Hm. Maybe I should go visit Ichigo just to make sure he's alright._

Renji got up and started walking towards the direction of Ichigo's home

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**Thanks for reading please review**


	3. Updates

Hello everyone

I know you all have been waiting for my update, and I'm sorry that it's so late. I'll be updating all of my stories very soon. Scratch will be the first and hen will be St. Joseph. I expect to have them up within a few days. I had to rewrite all of my chapters so it's taken a little longer than I had expected. Just to be Loved will also be updated within the next few weeks. Thanx to all my readers. Chow Chow for Now! Nya!


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